There are things we should tell to our daughters. For instance, the truth.
You should begin saying that Love is not the little green gate at the end of the lane and a kiss under the mistletoe.
That Love is not Everything. And it could end.
That there cannot be emotional independence without a financial one.
That this must be their first purpose: to be self-reliant, independent, in order to become free.
Our first purpose, to push them to achieve this self-realization.
We should tell them that they shouldn’t spend too much time, money, energy to organize a fairytale wedding. Because the fairytale lasts one day, and the guy is what is left at the end.
That they can wear what they want and still being respected. That they need to dare with their actions, and constantly practice their braveness.
We should tell them that, to fight the fear, the solution is not hiding at home in the evening, wear longer skirts or being chaperoned by the current boyfriend, to feel protected.
The solution is to try and change things.
We should tell them they are not less than the man they have beside. That nobody must touch them, harass them, and abuse them. Nothing they could do can justify rape, or violence.
We should tell them that they need to keep fighting to defend their rights, so that every woman could be free to decide for herself.
That they must be able to say no, if they don’t feel like having sex or other, that Love cannot be measured conceding.
That they have a clitoris, they can touch themselves and feel pleasure. There is nothing wrong with that. And they can ask for that pleasure, as men do, without feeling dirty for asking.
That they shouldn’t hesitate to say what they think. That the strength is in the knowledge, and so they will need to study a lot, because they will have to work way harder than men.
We should tell them that they must be sisters, and never judge each other.
That they have to have each other back, and think that the world is the place where they need to act. So they need to keep themselves informed and know that place very well if they want to be aware.
We should tell them to look for men that can do what they say. Otherwise goodbye and thank you very much.
That “I love you” is not a gift from a man.
We should tell them that we are not necessarily those who cry for nothing, who have PMS tantrums, who like pink and cheap romanticism everywhere, who want a ring on “that” finger, who are “hearth’s angels”. Those who like only romcoms and harlequin books where He meets Her and they always live happily ever after.
That Love is not enough and we understood this long ago.
To our daughters we should tell that practicing loneliness and involvement are both fundamental to face life.
They need to know that they can assess risks and not feeling fearful, only because they are women, and women are “fragile”. That today nobody really thinks so anymore, and those who do are just trying to take advantage of it.
Finally, we should tell them to practice braveness. From the beginning. Strength is real and it’s ours as much as men’s.
That they don’t need to fear anything in the world.
They have inside themselves everything they need to make it.
Traduzione: Francesca S.